random #38
am confronted by difficulty. am confused by smokescreens. needs to rise above.
:)
on belief.
I must say, I have thought long and hard before starting on this piece. Writing about beliefs and religion is NEVER easy. And as i write, this might still never reach completion. Nonetheless, having read the long “debate” between Eric, on the side of the ‘Militant Atheist’, and the people who defend the validity of religion under Carol’s Facebook note, I was personally spurred to jarringly meld together some opinions of my own. This little piece of writing shall serve not to take sides, for it is my very premise that in an argument as such, professing to be ‘correct’ is unacceptable. This little piece subsist as a mere reflection of my vanity in thinking that somewhere, my opinion might interest someone. My SGD$0.02 worth, basically. Or 1.32 Yen, 0.66 Rupees, et al.
As a matter of clarification, let it be known that I am neither religious, nor am I a spirited atheist of the ilk of Eric. Religion interests me purely at an intellectual level, with such an interest primarily stemming from how much religion affects literature. Secondly, I do not claim to quote reliable statistics to back myself up, neither do I lay claim have a take on a higher truth. Any conception of the truth is, after all, inherently unstable.
I start by quoting J.M. Coetzee, who could not have accented it better:
I have no desire to associate myself with the people behind the Intelligent Design movement. Nevertheless, I continue to find evolution by random mutation and natural selection not just unconvincing but preposterous as an account of how complex organisms come into being. As long as there is not one of us who has the faintest idea of how to go about constructing a housefly from scratch, how can we disparage as intellectually naive the conclusion that the houseful must have been put together by an intelligence of a higher order than our own?
As a rule of thumb, one of the premises on which the scientific discipline operates is that what cannot be proven to be true, is untrue. Unfortunately, such a ‘rule’ has been elevated to into what Coetzee calls ‘epistemological axioms’, or in other words something close to a ‘universal truth’. Such a measure of validity has been advanced onto all accounts of life, above and beyond the discipline of science. It is one favourite argument of atheists, to argue that if you cannot see God, or if his existence cannot be proven, He does not exist.
I would like the militant atheists also to consider the possibility that we human beings do not even come close to comprehending the exact degree of complexity that the universe holds. In short, we know, and are capable of knowing, far less than we would like to know about how the world came to be and what kind of beings we are. It can therefore be said, that this is one yay for religion.
Nevertheless, the concept of Intelligent Design is still regarded very much as a creation myth, rejected in schools as a credible alternative to Evolutionism. Most schools do not even explore the theory of Intelligent Design alongside Evolution. Yet, as Robert Jensen, Professor of Journalism at the University of Texas and author of various books on this subject succinctly puts it, “intelligent design is not open to being tested experimentally and has no basis in science… (therefore) such treatment is not disrespectful of people’s religious beliefs, but simply intellectually honest.”
Playing the amateur sociologist, the functionalist theory with regards to religion holds that religion plays the important and much under-appreciated role of ensuring social solidarity and cohesion. Stretching the term ‘religion’, one could also take the communal fervour excited by events like concerts or football matches to mean that the very events themselves are somewhat religious. At least I know for me, I have idols to worship and rituals to follow when I watch Chelsea play. Lucky shirt on, beer always after chips. Religion, therefore, can loosely be defined as any such thing that evokes in one a belief in and of anything.
So, is not the fervent and ardent, not to mention collective belief that there is no God, or as Friedrich Nietzsche famously proclaimed, that “God is Dead”, in a sociological sense at least a religion? Quasi-religion, some may call it. My point is, that atheism and it’s beliefs in the absence of God as well as the fierce determination to prove themselves right has a lot in common with what we may call the traditional institutions of ‘religion’. Atheists hide behind supposed logic and reasoning, which I personally purport, because of the abovementioned elevation of scientific inquiry to the level of ‘common sense’, to be flawed. Is not a belief that science can magically provide all answers, even as we ourselves do not comprehend what we do not yet know, in itself a leap of faith?
I do personally believe, even if I am not myself a believer or religious by any consideration, that the very concept of religion is positive. While it is true that people throughout history and even today abuse religion for their own negative ends of violence, such as against those with contrary beliefs, or wrongful subjugation of certain groups of people like women, that itself is no fault of religion. The blame has to lie squarely at the criminal religious leaders.
So, live and let live. I hate the way some ‘evangelists’ have their tongues down my throat. Yet neither do I thus believe in the cause of the atheists. We all have different beliefs, and these beliefs contribute in no small part towards who we are, for better or for worse, whether or not it is huge and is institutionalised globally or it’s just some idiosyncratic OCD quirk. The religious people (in the traditional sense) have their gods, the militant atheists believe in overthrowing religion. And I believe in beer.
In the course of this rambling entry, I hope my other point has not been lost. It goes along the lines of: Don’t be complacent with whatever version of the truth you think is right. The very nature of truth is precarious, and whatever we know of everything is simply what everyone else accepts to be right.
We all have our lucky shirts, lucky underwear, et al. And I believe that when Chelsea win I must not brush my teeth for that particular night, for good luck. The whole world tells me I’m disgusting, but I simply shrug and move on.
we’re all victims.
Thus the thing began. Had she perceived this meeting’s import she might have asked why she was doomed to be seen and coveted that day by the wrong man, and not by some other man, the right and desired one in all respects—as nearly as humanity can supply the right and desired…In the ill-judged execution of the well-judged plan of things the call seldom produces the comer, the man to love rarely coincides with the hour for loving. Nature does not often say ‘See!’ to her poor creature at a time when seeing can lead to happy doing… in the present case, as in millions, it was not the two halves of a perfect whole that confronted each other at the perfect moment; a missing counterpart wandered independently about the earth waiting in crass obtuseness till the late time came.
- Thomas Hardy, in Tess of the d’Urbervilles
when your heartstrings break
just breathing in and out
reminds me of what used to be.
diary of a bad month
it’s been a bad month for me, as those who know me dearly enough would testify.
the month of may concluded with my pretty decent results (damn the forgetting to s/u though), a new tuition kid and quite a lot of hope, love life wise. i was happy, i really did think so.
then along came june. of course, the fractured finger has to take the cake, and is poised to leave an indelible and permanent legacy. whatever it was with her, fizzled out. then came the horrible flu which i got from visiting NUH for my finger. put me out for a week. also, spoilt my earphones, but thankfully the nice people at apple replaced it for me without raising an eyebrow at my ridiculous circumstances. then came the tonsilitis. bahhh.
perhaps also, this would also be the month i’ve come to lose much faith in a fair number of things. but they say, every cloud has a silver lining. and while i am not totally sure and may never be, i could just have found mine. i don’t quite know.
just in case though, i should wrap myself in bubble wrap. literally and figuratively. for the few weeks ahead.
from pain from pleasure from pain
kneel! and submit myself to thy wishes,
i beat, flog and torture my remains.
with every bite into my flesh began
unto my lacerated soul in vain.
for there may never be serene journey,
across the cross road to stumble to rest.
and what joy could one unearth?
in cadaverous pain they deigned to arrest.
but alas, for i am no man of faith,
and feckless, ineffectual, is my pain.
throngs kneel for an imagined rejoinder,
when i eschew relics, pain and candles.
my torch’s flame remains unpretentious,
its riveted gaze draws no answers.
just steadfast, silent luminosity
and the firm comeliness of a dancer’s.
the dancer’s grace burns bright like my candle,
and the dancer’s grace burns me.
the flame devours consciousness and pride,
like the college priests decree.
as i vacillate between pains to aches,
this affliction is an addiction.
no benediction, no conviction.
dereliction, without salvation.
i yearn once more for my faithless heydays,
to this deranged predicament, i laugh.
pain accompanies no liberation,
still my candle’s apparition, i’d love.
cane me, and crush my amorous piety,
wake me, and let me realise my folly.
this adulation, this delirious zeal,
this unhinged idolatry burns and heals.
he really said that
on MM lee:
“During Lee Kuan Yew’s triumphant visit to Malaysia he made it known to the Malaysian supplicants that Singapore regards the lands within 6000 miles radius of Singapore as its hinterland. This includes Beijing and Tokyo and of course Malaysia… Of course this self-deluding perception places Singapore at the centre of a vast region. It is therefore the latter day Middle Kingdom. The rest are peripheral and are there to serve the interest of this somewhat tiny Middle Kingdom… I have a lot more to say about this little Emperor but I will reserve it for later. “
on malaysia’s own PM:
“The great 5th Prime Minister has decided that since the people of Johore did not want to sell sand to Singapore, Malaysia would not build any bridge, straight or crooked, or negotiate and settle the other issues like the Central Provident Fund, the Railway land. Maybe the 5th Prime Minister thinks he is punishing Singapore. Actually he is giving Singapore what its wants including the 3 sen per 1000 gallons water until 2061. Think of how many grains of nasi lemak we can buy with 3 sen in 2061. Imagine what 1000 gallons will earn for Singapore at that time. Can’t think of a more astute PM for Malaysia.”
lol
- from the blog of dr mahathir mohamed.
when tom cruise cries it’s all a lie
i close my eyes. i like not what i see. still images of broken old street lights and rustic shophouses. quiet roads. bridge. noodles. calm seas. troubled waters.
but i can barely open my eyes. i am in pain. let me stay in bed. and then i wished for the world to drop in. i would serve them chang beer and other cheap liquor everyone could get wasted on my lil queen, absorbed in whatever troubles them.
and then there was one. as it has always been.
can’t mess with fate
jeezuz. chills.
——————
An Italian woman who arrived late for the Air France plane flight that crashed in the Atlantic last week has been killed in a car accident.
Johanna Ganthaler, a pensioner from Bolzano-Bozen province, had been on holiday in Brazil with her husband Kurt and missed Air France Flight 447 after turning up late at Rio de Janeiro airport on May 31.’
It said that Ms Ganthaler died when their car veered across a road in Kufstein, Austria, and swerved into an oncoming truck. Her husband was seriously injured.
not a close shave
A man who tore the wig off a telegenic Taiwan legislator last year was sentenced to five months in jail for depriving the MP of his freedom to look good, a court spokesman said Tuesday.
The Taipei District Court sentenced Huang Yung-tien, 50, to jail for snatching the toupee off the head of ruling Nationalist Party lawmaker Chiu Yi. Chiu has become a household name for his media-friendly offensives against the political opposition.
“The judge thought Chiu Yi had the freedom to wear what he wanted, and Chiu felt the wig made him look prettier,” court spokesman Huang Chin-ming said. “The judge thinks that to remove it intentionally was to take away that right.”
grazed knees
i’m trying not to stare, it’s too late
the blankets over there, if you like
i’m broken and I’m colder than hell
i should’ve said I’d not come back here
your breakfast will get cold
i really have to go
it’s easier to lie and be safe
time and time again I’m half stalled
one giant leap of faith is easy
when everyone you ask is so sure
just give a second thought
what if we don’t get caught
stick or twist
whichever way this goes, i know i’ve been irreversibly altered.
everytime i see you falling
i feel fine and i feel good,
i feel like i never should
quizzical
as if trying to drum into my stubborn little head that i was this cursed one who in this little period of time at least shall not be granted any grace or mercy or breaks in luck, june started on the worst possible note. lost a wallet, found it back. but then i’ve also managed to lose one side of earphone. yet to go scream at the apple store.
then as the cherry on the icing on the cake, i’ve contrived to get my ring finger fractured. in all the solitude, as i was devoured alive by mosquitos, i heard her voice. but with its going, a small part of me died inside. with my ring finger. now there’s no way i can say, i didn’t see it coming.
should have seen it coming when the roses died
should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
should have listened when you said good night
you really meant good bye
baby, aint it funny, how you never ever learn to fall
you’re really on your knees, when you think you’re standing tall
but only fools are know-it-alls and i played that fool for youi cried and i cried
there were nights that i died for you baby
i tried and i tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, babyif the love that i got for you is gone
if the river i cried ain’t that long
then i’m wrong, yeah i’m wrong, this ain’t a love song
it’s beginning to get to me
i can either choose to remain silent, or scream under my breath.
she’ll be coming round the mountain

:)
have you ever seen chelsea win the cup? (yes i have!)
have you ever seen chelsea win the cup? (yes i have!)
have you ever seen chelsea have you ever seen chelsea
have you ever seen chelsea win the cup? (yes i have!)

thanks for the memories, guus. :')
might not survive this
as ju says in her blog,
what if you were presented with what seemed to be all that you desired? you’d think the choice would be easy, you’ll snatch it in a heartbeat.
but, it takes courage to explore the seeminly perfect possibility. you know, because you could find out that it might not be so perfect after all.
or you fear screwing it up.
Nor can you more judge women’s thoughts by tears,
Than by her shadow what she wears.
O perverse sex, where none is true but she,
Who’s therefore true, because her truth kills me.
and as donne says, at times, something’s perfect only remains perfect when it/he/she remains unattainable.