blueballs

1. believe and tell the whole world it is chelsea’s god-given right to win finals, and make the belief filter through to the players. (chelsea career: 5 finals, 5 wins)

2. start with ferreira, ballack and joe cole instead of belletti (offered a little going forward but was a liability at the back, evidenced by spurs moving lennon to face-off with him), mikel (faultless but uninspiring) and wright-phillips (worked his socks off but constantly bullied by chimbonda).

3. sack that poor, honest kitman who hurried to pick up the ball on the touchline at a spurs throw-in (when chelsea were still leading)

4. not be lost and puzzled when spurs equalised. possibly switch to a 4-man attack immediately.

5. continue protesting that it was not a spurs penalty (alas, it was) and that chelsea should have had 3 penalties not given (should have had one) to the press , the FA, the United Nations and anyone who would listen.

to many, the least grant had to do was to win this, cause it’s precisely just the carling cup. he had a lot of people to win over, and now that he’s failed to do so, the signs are there and they’re not comforting at all: the players can go on winning streaks against the likes of birmingham and portsmouth but our manager does not have it in him to inspire his troops to win the big games. we’ve lost against man united and arsenal, and drew 0-0 against liverpool and olympiakos. 4 matches, ZERO goals. admittedly we did beat valencia, but that was definitely the most out-of-sorts valencia side in my living memory.

and what was MORE worrying, was the sight of steve clarke cajoling the chelsea players as they got together in a huddle (extra time). and after that terry giving “superstars” ballack, drogba and lampard a rollicking. and where was grant? behind terry, walking around aimlessly, scratching his head, i’m not sure he knows where he was?

and this guy thinks he can win us the champions league! against the likes of milan and barcelona! jesses!

maybe i’ve been spoilt, and in the days gone by i have come to think it’s chelsea’s god-given right to win cup finals. but it’s bitter, for with all due respect to spurs we were beaten by a weaker (albeit more well-organised, tactically astute and motivated) team.

in his time at Chelsea, one of the many things i remember jose mourinho for was the crazy shit he did. (like calling arsene wenger a voyeur) practically switching to 6 forwards at halftime when 0-1 down and strange substitutions that made people go “what the hell?” were commonplace, and when they work out perfectly it adds to his own and everyone else’s belief that he is the special one.

his successor, avraham grant, is cut from a totally different cloth. he is to jose like helium is to flourine, unreactive and dull against explosive and combustible. he provides zero soundbites where you can compile a compendium of jose’s quotes, and looks lost half the time.

BUT he has announced, 18 hours in advance, that for his first radical crazy move of his chelsea career he’s gonna drop terry, lampard and anelka for tonight’s champions league quarterfinal, (what the hell?) which makes it a must-win. for i sense the vultures waiting to chastise his “stupid, horrible decision”.