John Donne’s Holy Sonnet XIV
Batter my heart, three-person’d God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn and make me new.
I, like a usurped town to another due,
Labor to admit you, but, oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend;
But is captive and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you and would be loved fain;
But am betrothed unto your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
computer says no.
there was a girl with the sun in her eyes and the laughter of a child.
no sunlight no sunlight no sunlight
it seems almost like divine providence that there’s no premier league footy on a weekend when i desperately need to finish my renaissance essay.
but with nothing to look forward to i think i’ll just remained trapped in wandering mazes lost.
going nowhere fast
switch on, stand still, don’t answer the phone.
or flicker in, flicker out and retch away from view.
still a happy day
promised someone that i’d make my blog a bit more happy. i had actually started a separate blog just for happy posts, of which there are none still actually, and that decision is starting to seem a little bit weird now. so i shall try to do it here. a little bit more.
so today has been a happy day because i…
1. had a very nice chit-chat with prof walter lim
2. bumped into my sc1101e cute girl.
(dammit how bimbotic do i sound, all i lack now is the word ‘eyecandy’)
3. talked to precious people.
4. can actually still talk.
okay back to my one of many MANY assignments. (optimism didn’t last very long)
top of the world and looking down on creation
remotely (only remotely) about football and not a rant on anything chelsea related, i just saw another one of leo messi’s wondergoals. with the ball in the air, he chested it past one flailing flying defender, proceeding to dribble past the entire team and their families before smashing it past the keeper.
which makes me wonder what it must feel like to be him. here we have a boy who grew up in extremely difficult circumstances, with a serious disease and growth hormone problems at 11. at 21 now (only 3 months younger than me), how surreal must it feel to know that you’re probably the most talented football player the universe has EVER seen.
and for that matter, how brilliantly unreal must it feel, to be top of the world. in anything.
a stab in the dark
i’ve decided to take my amateur sports journalism a bit more seriously, so please indulge me a little!
What Would Jose Do? – A Chelsea Fanboy Site With An Exclusively Tactical Slant
the first post over there is on chelsea’s defeat to spurs, as seen from the previous post here. :)
might as well face it you’re addicted
i apologise to my very small if not imaginary group of readers who look for salacious and interesting details of my life here who would then be regularly disappointed, for my life is really that boring. secondly because i am just not quite inclined to blogging happy stuff.
and i thought i could resist this, but no i haven’t been able to get it out of my mind cause last night’s defeat to spurs hurt so much and i cannot help but feel an irrepressible need to dissect it. so this is what i feel was wrong:
1) complacency: hiddink has come and instilled in the team a confident, winning mentality, and last night was one example of there being too much of that. the players thought they could simply turn up and win. at least 18 out of 20 teams in the league won’t roll over like mancity did last week, and last night was a rude wakeup call. passion came in the last 20 minutes but it was too little too late against a good side who should be in the top 6 next season.
2) our formation: snap out of it, and go back to 4-3-3. five of the league’s top six play with a lone striker, with the exception of manutd who are (blip aside) exceptional anyway. shoving lampard to the left of midfield is exactly what benitez has tried with gerrard and realised the folly of, and he looked lost and clueless. 4-4-2 maybe, but only with essien & lampard centrally and two proper wingers (malouda, belletti, kalou all don’t count).
3) ballack: is legendary. was a great player. but no longer cuts the mustard. i can see hiddink’s thinking in playing him in the mikel role, for his aerial ability and his famed range of passing. like pirlo for milan. sadly, these two attributes have not surfaced at all this season, he’s too slow and gets hurried into mistakes, and he surrenders the ball more than a blindfolded mouse. bring back mikel please, if we are to play 4-3-3. he has done nothing to deserve being dropped, he never loses the ball, and does what he says on the can (break up attacks, start our own) unlike bigname ballack. remains to be seen if hiddink has the balls to drop him.
4) quaresma: brilliant, unlocks defences, can dribble and cross like a real winger should. but with the most attack-minded right back in england (bosingwa) behind him, quaresma has to learn to track back and defend or he’ll never get to play until chelsea get in trouble and desperately need inspiration.
5) alex: he is not carvalho.
against my best wishes, i keep thinking about you.
oh won’t you stay-ay-ay just a little bit longerrr
guus hiddink has always been roman’s first choice, and overlooking some of his other follies, like getting rid of The Special One, he has shown good insight and decisive business-mindedness in swiftly sacking scolari when things went downhill. and he’s got a man who, whilst unable to ensure things will always be smooth-sailing in years to come, has got the style and the fearless streak and the tactical nous to finally get us out of our hangover over Jose.
great businessmen / investors may make mistakes, but they don’t make the same mistake twice, at least that’s what all those overpriced investment self-help books will tell you. and i think roman’s record shows that he has been a great businessman.
so please, roman, do EVERYTHING you can to keep our golden guus.
to lose one special manager, mr. abramovich, may be considered unfortunate. to lose two seems like carelessness.
pardon the pun
given that my last (acne) breakout was last sem’s exam, my current breakout is totally premature. and i blame the STEWPIT elang essay squarely, for making it come so soon.
i really want to
1) finish the STEWPIT english essay
2) get started on the renaissance and postcolonial essays
3) have a do-nothing day
4) find someone with whom i could go for kaiser chiefs with
5) have apple and cranberry juice
6) mambo this wednesday
have you ever been in love
he heard a song play on the ipod (which was on shuffle mode), and thought of her.
have there been times to laugh,
and times you really want to cry;
finding reasons to believe her,
cause you’d die a little if she lied.
he knew all along. about that other guy. he just remained silent.
and when she’s far away
have you ever felt the need to stray
and tried and then discovered
it just doesn’t pay
yes he tried. and yes he knows now it was utterly and horribly stupid, trying to get his own back on her. but in his failure of failures he didn’t finish what he had set out to do. even as he was that close.
just because it’s long gone doesn’t mean one can’t think of it.
academic anxiety
the darned e-lang module: i don’t want to say i’m giving up, cause i probably can’t.
but the soul is unwilling and the flesh is weak.
dang.
friend: “so what’s the problem with your life? maybe i can troubleshoot?”
me: “the main problem is that i don’t have one.”
i shall carry on my internal monologue where the one sides are debating if i should continue to hammer out one of my one zillion essays that are due soon or go lead my other life on my new xbox, which represents the zenith of my non-life now.
sitting waiting wishing
k i am in a highly highly irritable state now because all i’m doing is only waiting and waiting and waiting for things to happen, but time does not wait for me while i wait for others.
waiting for person after person. for ideas that never come. for my postcolonial essay, the grade of which i’m dying to see. and for my weird bluesy mood to go away.
rant over. for now.
latest research findings
Men would prefer to see their partners wearing their favourite football team’s shirt in the bedroom than sexy lingerie, a survey has revealed.
More than 1900 men were quizzed by, leading women’s celebrity fashion website, MyCelebrityFashion.co.uk on their favourite female fashion turn-on in the bedroom.
And rather than kinky knickers or a Princess Leia costume, the most popular answer given was for their wife or girlfriend to sport their team’s colours.
34 percent of men asked said they would prefer their partner to wear their favourite team’s football or rugby top in bed, with 23 percent opting for lingerie. While 21 percent of the no-nonsense males asked replied ‘nothing’ with 16 percent saying they would plump for a fantasy role-play outfit.
big fish in small ponds
i woke to figurative cold sweat at 4am and it struck me, rudely, how completely incomplete i had been. not that i know what constitutes wholeness, of course.
possibly, there could be no such thing, or at least not for mere mortals. and almost every single one of us is stuck in a some form and degree of hollowness, fighting not just ourselves but everyone else in a bid to be less hollow, to be that little bit more fulfilled, to look for little joys of life.
yeah little bits of happiness and small victories are all good. i love little bits of happiness. but in the end, it’s almost always a losing battle whichever way you catch it, as long as you keep fighting.
even if we have not yet lost, we are.
