death – life’s greatest equaliser – claimed another amongst them, and there really was no good reason why anyone who happened to be awake that night was still around. so there were a few wet eyes and bowed heads. the 2-year old who had little idea what was going on breaks out in most inopportune laughter, and his parents’ faces crumple in unison, a picture of pained embarrassment.
meanwhile he sits on the precipice, legs dangling precariously upon the edge. he thought he had gone too, but had no idea he was going to be made to stick around just that little bit longer. it was just like that song which goes “you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave”, that stands in for everybody’s song, the soundtrack both for the times when we find ourselves transfixed in the unpleasant and inescapable, and the times when we revel in a few pleasant moments, hallucinogen-induced or otherwise, and be cruelly reminded of the temporality of that very moment and the inescapability of the humdrum of what has otherwise been masked with our Faustian festivities. wafting in the air as we sway to its arresting beat. so we can never leave, not until the very last moment at least. not until something compels you to.
so he resolves to enjoy every possible moment of it while it lasts, just like this or that platoon of drafted soldiers in any number of barbarous terrains, each and everyone of them who attempt to bring cheer to one another by commiserating about their girl(or boy)friends at home and share tired laughter together often tend to do. but just as they all silently and unwillingly let the despair of the desert storm creep slowly but surely into their souls and the wetness of the swamp creep slowly but surely into their underpants, it gets increasingly difficult – and baffling.
because while he does not really enjoy it, he cannot yet help but be swept away.
and only death will tell you with insurmountable certitude that the time will come for you eventually to flee the scene.
