thought of the day
Grant me the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Grant me the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people that I had to kill today because they pissed me off, and help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may well be connected to the ass that I will have to kiss tomorrow.
- from Dr. Pan’s office wall
he really said that
on MM lee:
“During Lee Kuan Yew’s triumphant visit to Malaysia he made it known to the Malaysian supplicants that Singapore regards the lands within 6000 miles radius of Singapore as its hinterland. This includes Beijing and Tokyo and of course Malaysia… Of course this self-deluding perception places Singapore at the centre of a vast region. It is therefore the latter day Middle Kingdom. The rest are peripheral and are there to serve the interest of this somewhat tiny Middle Kingdom… I have a lot more to say about this little Emperor but I will reserve it for later. “
on malaysia’s own PM:
“The great 5th Prime Minister has decided that since the people of Johore did not want to sell sand to Singapore, Malaysia would not build any bridge, straight or crooked, or negotiate and settle the other issues like the Central Provident Fund, the Railway land. Maybe the 5th Prime Minister thinks he is punishing Singapore. Actually he is giving Singapore what its wants including the 3 sen per 1000 gallons water until 2061. Think of how many grains of nasi lemak we can buy with 3 sen in 2061. Imagine what 1000 gallons will earn for Singapore at that time. Can’t think of a more astute PM for Malaysia.”
lol
- from the blog of dr mahathir mohamed.
not a close shave
A man who tore the wig off a telegenic Taiwan legislator last year was sentenced to five months in jail for depriving the MP of his freedom to look good, a court spokesman said Tuesday.
The Taipei District Court sentenced Huang Yung-tien, 50, to jail for snatching the toupee off the head of ruling Nationalist Party lawmaker Chiu Yi. Chiu has become a household name for his media-friendly offensives against the political opposition.
“The judge thought Chiu Yi had the freedom to wear what he wanted, and Chiu felt the wig made him look prettier,” court spokesman Huang Chin-ming said. “The judge thinks that to remove it intentionally was to take away that right.”
on water and rebirth
Heraclitus, who lived around 500 B.C., composed a number of adages, called his ‘apothegms of change”, which tell us that everything is changing at every moment, that the movement of time causes ceaseless change in the cosmos. The most famous of these sayings is that one cannot step into the same river twice. He uses a river to suggest the constantly shifting nature of time: all the little bits and pieces that were floating by a moment ago are somewhere else now and floating at different rates from each other.
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on the same topic, also by Foster:
In Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon, Morrison has Milkman Dead get wet three times. First he steps into a small stream while searching for gold in a cave, then he’s given a bath by Sweet, the woman he meets on his trip into his past, and then he swims with Sweet in the river… The first time he goes into water, he steps into a little steam he’s trying to cross, but since he’s just starting out, the experience only begins to cleanse him. He’s still after gold, and characters who seek gold aren’t ready for change. Later, after much has happened to change him gradually, he is bathed by Sweet, in a cleansing that is both literal and ritual. Of equal, importance, he returns the favour and bathes her. Their intent is clearly not religious; if it were, religion would be far more popular than it is. (lol)
latest research findings
Men would prefer to see their partners wearing their favourite football team’s shirt in the bedroom than sexy lingerie, a survey has revealed.
More than 1900 men were quizzed by, leading women’s celebrity fashion website, MyCelebrityFashion.co.uk on their favourite female fashion turn-on in the bedroom.
And rather than kinky knickers or a Princess Leia costume, the most popular answer given was for their wife or girlfriend to sport their team’s colours.
34 percent of men asked said they would prefer their partner to wear their favourite team’s football or rugby top in bed, with 23 percent opting for lingerie. While 21 percent of the no-nonsense males asked replied ‘nothing’ with 16 percent saying they would plump for a fantasy role-play outfit.
just when you thought thai politics could not be weirder
A maverick Thai general who has threatened to bomb anti-government protesters and drop snakes on them from helicopters has been reassigned as an aerobics teacher, the Bangkok Post said on Friday.
Major-general Khattiya Sawasdipol, a Rambo-esque anti-communist fighter more commonly known as Seh Daeng, reacted with disappointment to his new role as a military instructor promoting public fitness at marketplaces.
“It is ridiculous to send me, a warrior, to dance at markets,” he said, before launching an attack on his boss, army chief Anupong Paochinda. “The army chief wants me to be a presenter leading aerobics dancers. I have prepared one dance. It’s called the ‘throwing-a-hand-grenade’ dance,” he said.
drop it like it’s hot
ROME (AP) — In the latest fashion statement out of Italy, soccer players are dropping their shorts to score goals.
Catania, a team in the country’s top division, unveiled the new look while taking a free kick. The players lined up in a wall and dropped their shorts in an effort to block the goalkeeper’s vision.
The Sicilian team carried out the maneuver to perfection Sunday. Three players dropped their shorts practically to their knees so Torino goalie Matteo Sereni couldn’t see the kick by Giuseppe Mascara, who scored during Catania’s 3-2 victory.
a brave old world
“in 1882, Congress (of America) passed an act prohibiting the immigration of three classes of people into the United States for 10 years: lunatics, idiots, and Chinese.”
oh hello dave, nice to meet you, i am talula does the hula
A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names here, and did something about it.
Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed.
Judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed, he said in a ruling made public Thursday. The girl was involved in a custody battle, he said.
Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter “and tragically, Violence,” he said.
New Zealand law does not allow names that would cause offense to a reasonable person, among other conditions, said Brian Clarke, the registrar general of Births, Deaths and Marriages.
- from yahoo news
talula does the hula! LOL!
quote-unquote
“The most likely scenario for Hillary to become president, however: Barack Obama wins 54% of the remaining pledged delegates and 60% of undecided superdelegates, and Hillary shoots him in the face with her fake Hitler Gun, and then Al Gore becomes president again at the convention and she shoots him too, the end.”
LOL!
quote-unquote
from the april 25 issue of malaysian newspaper, the sun:
“seller of chocs laced with viagra faced with stiff sentence”
STIFF SENTENCE! LOL!
oh, juliano!
fan: Briefly, if chelsea had to play in a 5-aside tournament which line up will you pick?
Juliano Belletti: Hilário would be the goalkeeper. I would join the line-up and play with Joe Cole, Ashley Cole, Wright-Phillips and Anelka.
oh no! back to school juliano!
john arne riises to the occasion
Press release:-
Liverpool defender John Arne Riise was stopped on the M62 highway after the Reds 1-1 UEFA Champions League draw with Chelsea. He was apparently heading in the wrong direction.
avram, grant us a new manager!
you are manager of chelsea, and you are in a match against great rivals arsenal. your team was 1-0 down, and you don’t know what to do. you should throw on some subs, so you eeney-munny-meeny-mo and picked two players. the crowd chant “you don’t know what you’re doing”, you suspect so too. but then your team scores two quickfire goals. you’re not quite sure how it happened, but you feel like a genius.
so what do you tell your players next?
…
teehee. -covers face in shame-
pictures of a conversation
my very educated/efficient mother just served us nine pizzas
my very educated/efficient mother just served us nothing pizzas
my very erotic mistress just showed up naked
my very erotic mother just showed us naked
which one did you learn at primary school?
vehicles for change
Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, co-founders of Ben and Jerry’s, publically announced their endorsement of Barack Obama for President today. Along with Senator Leahy, they drove to American Flatbread in Burlington (Vermont) in “ObamaMobiles” which they designed to help get out the vote for Vermont’s March 4th primary.
“The ObamaMobiles are true vehicles for change. (lol!) There’s a lot at stake in this election. All Vermonters need to make their voices heard and vote.”
quote-unquote
“being a west ham fan, it is very painful for me to sponsor man united. but i guess there are times in life where you have to be a prostitute”
- airasia boss and west ham fan dato tony fernandes, on his company getting down spread-eagle upon being shown the money.
touche.
